Sunday, February 24, 2008

WHAT DO I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP?

A few days ago, I was talking to some people I just met at a dinner party about my career and how I got to be where I am now. I said something about not really wanting to be a doctor but somehow as I plodded on in my studies, it was too late to change my mind. And then I talked about getting my MBA and being in my present job and so, one of them asked me if I was happy now...and I laughed and said, not really and that was when someone said...so what do you want to be when you grow up. That comment although jokingly said, hit close to home...the realization that I am still a work in progress...that inspite of being middle-aged, it is still not very clear to me what I really want in my life. I have said this years ago and until now I keep on repeating myself... that I know what I don't want...what I still don't know is what I do want. I envy people who dare take risks to go after what they want in life. I continue to see my life as one that is so predictable, so conscientious, so reliable...so...ordinary. Most days, I am content and relatively happy but there are times when I feel restless and unsettled. Maybe because I'm aware that I'm not getting any younger in age and if there are things I dream of doing, I should do it now. Much like the Lion in the Wizard of Oz, I just need to find courage.

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