Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts

Monday, April 13, 2015

4 Lessons I Learned When Dealing With Life Changes

Life continues to be a rollercoaster ride for me and my family. We make plans but change happens, and for life to go on, we must know how to cope and deal with it.  A long time ago someone told me that change isn't bad...it just means that we grow up.  I did not understand then what exactly he meant by that, but as I grew older...and wiser, I finally did.  That somehow there is always been something good that comes out of change and important life lessons learned.  I will have another birthday tomorrow and with it, I celebrate the changes in my life.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Family Secrets...and Why The Truth Has To Be Set Free

I am a relatively honest person...what you see is what you get and I have very few secrets, probably because I am not very good at remembering or keeping one.  On the other hand, I would always tell my friends that if they have something to confide, they should make me promise to keep it a secret and I will honor that promise till the end of time. But what about family secrets? The kind that everyone wants to forget...those that are considered taboo...those which changed lives...or that which was deemed so humiliating and scandalous that to talk about it will mean banishment! (big grin)


Well, I think every family has at least one and family secrets have a way of making themselves known...sooner or later. Why?  Oftentimes, simply because the time has come to tell the real story.  Although I personally believe that family secrets are not subjects for bedtime stories, I also believe that there are those because of their very nature, have been the subject of speculation, hearsay, illusions and delusions, so that an injustice continues to be made to the original parties concerned, as this "perceived truth" is handed down through the generations.  These are the kind that needs to be revealed/clarified and placed in it's proper perspective. Sometimes what people perceive as true is not really the truth but if said often enough, eventually becomes their reality.  The saying that not everything is as it seems is especially true when it comes to family secrets. 

So how should a family secret be revealed?  Now, I do not advocate telling it to one and sundry. 


My experience tells me that when the time comes, the person that need to know has to be told honestly and simply. One should be prepared to back up their story with the facts.  Yes, in some cases, the truth will hurt but then, truth also sets us free. It cannot be avoided that shock, blame, regret and sadness will occur when family secrets are discussed, but the sins of our ancestors are not ours and we should learn to understand and hopefully, forgive.  Learning and talking about family secrets has made me a better person, I think...it has made me understand the humanness of our ancestors and man in general...it has given me a broader perspective on illegitimacy...it showed me how people can rise above adversity and denial...it made me realize that things happen to the best of people for reasons only they know...and finally, that family secrets are nothing to be ashamed of, because it is a fact that some of our ancestors' mistakes produced a few of our family's greatest achievements.  Still, there is the question, does the end justify the means?  In an ideal world our private lives should mirror our public lives.  This is why I believe that family secrets when the occasion calls for it should be revealed and used to help future generations learn from the experiences of our ancestors and finally heal the family.  

There are no mistakes in life...only lessons.

PS. I wrote this post after many discoveries and realizations I had while doing our family tree :) 

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

HOW MY SUMMER VACATION TURNED INTO A LESSON ON GROWING OLD GRACEFULLY...

Last May 7, my mom, brother, son and I boarded a plane to Manila for a brief "vacation", if you could call going to the big city that. It was my mom who needed to be there for an annual CWL convention while the rest of us were there only for the ride. The last time my mom traveled to Manila was about 3 years ago and it's been about 4 years ago for my brother and son. At that time, my mom although already suffering from hip osteoarthritis was still quite mobile but lately, it has really been getting more difficult for her to get around and this has become more evident during this latest trip to Manila. Although I see her as growing old, this reality did not seem to be very apparent to me maybe because life in the province is more laid-back, or maybe because I refuse to dwell on the fact that my mom was indeed aging and sooner than later, so will I.

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