Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Ghosts Of High School Past

I just got home from a dinner date with high school classmates, one of whom is visiting from abroad.  Although there were just the three of us, we had a lot of fun reminiscing about our younger days and sharing stories about our lives now.  It dawned on me as I was driving home that although we have long been living separate lives, there will always be ties that bind us together, just as some of these also bring up ghosts of our past.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Once Lost, Now Found...Entrecard Links

Look what I found! Just when I thought that my Entrecard blogger friends were lost forever, a blogger angel put up a page listing them down (and this blog is in the list!) Thank you so much, Grandma's Goulash!

For those who may not know what Entrecard is...or was, it was a blogger network where you visit blogs by clicking on their ads.  It was like leaving your business card on other blogs and this was very helpful in bringing traffic to your own blog. Although I was not on it everyday, I found some great blogs there and even made friends. So you can imagine my dismay when one day the site just closed down without any warning. I was so annoyed because there were some sites that I liked visiting but was not able to link up with.  

Finding this link list (courtesy of a post by Life with a Parasite) sure made my day! Now I can go visit my favorite sites again :)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Passing of a Friend

I met Pocholo when we were both enrolled in a pre-med course in La Salle Bacolod. He eventually changed course and became a lawyer while I plodded on to become a doctor. I only stayed for 2 years in La Salle Bacolod but that was enough to create a lasting friendship.  Thinking back, he was not your typical teenager...although I found him both serious and funny, Philip as we called him then was also very responsible, caring and helpful.  On hindsight, he was very protective towards all of us that he seemed to be older and more mature. In fact it is only now that I learn that he is just one month older than I am. I have many good memories of  Philip "Pocholo" Dabao as Philip and later as Pocholo.  He became Pocholo or Pochoy to me, 25 years later when I attended the homecoming in La Salle when he was the alumni president. As time went on, I would see him rarely...but every time we did, we always have a short chat catching up on each other's lives. I have this one special memory of Pochoy's caring ways...a few years ago, I had a traffic accident as I turned to La Salle Avenue.  As I was trying to talk to the very belligerent and defensive taxi driver, Pochoy suddenly appeared in front of me. It turned out that he and his kids were eating at Jollibee and when he saw me, he just had to help.  That was Pocholo...a good friend who always had your back.  Last night I went to his wake with my mom who was one of his teachers in college and saw Pia, his cherished wife.  Words will never be enough to console her and their children on Pocholo's passing...all I can do is hug her.  To Pochoy, vaya con Diรณs my friend, and hey! even if you're on the other side, please don't stop watching our backs.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

lest I will be misunderstood...

Before anything else, I just want to say that what I wrote about goodbye doesn't mean forever is not a confession of someone "in love"...lest I be misunderstood. I am not talking about love in the context of being in love. Yet, there is a special regard...something akin to filial love. It's the feeling you get when you miss a close friend and would like to be with that is feeling disappointed when you realize that you are not as important to your friend as he is to is feeling bad when your friend doesn't find time for you...and because of all these feelings, sadness and uncertainty happens causing you to be afraid that you are slowly losing a friend. If all these feelings mean I love my friend, then I guess I do. After listening to the song My Goodbye Girl, I wanted to believe that the lyrics applied to me and my friend, that's why I posted it here. But as an afterthought, I now believe that our kind of friendship is pretty superficial otherwise, I would not be feeling what I feel now....ignored and rejected. The silence should be enough.

Still I am not losing hope, but I no longer hold my breath waiting. Que sera, sera...what will be will be...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

goodbye doesn't mean forever...

"The Goodbye Girl" is a single released by David Gates, lead singer of the group Bread, in 1977 following the premiere of the hit movie by the same title (based on a book by Neil Simon). The lyrics says so many of the things I want to say, but am afraid to the someone I thought was my friend...

All your life you've waited
For love to come and stay
And now that I have found you
You must not slip away

I know it's hard believin'
The words you've heard before
But darlin' you must trust them just once more
'Cause baby, goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you
Goodbye doesn't mean
We'll never be together again
If you wake up and I'm not there
I won't be long away
'Cause the things you do my goodbye girl
Will bring me back to you

I know you've been taken
Afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me
Instead of givin' in
But I can wait forever
Helping you to see
That I was meant for you and you for me

So remember, goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye
Doesn't mean we'll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart
You still will have my heart
So forget your past my goodbye girl
'Cause now you're home at last

...I have crossed the bridge...the question now is...will I be met halfway?

Friday, November 02, 2007

friends and expectations

I would always say...blessed are those who expect nothing and they shall not be disappointed, and I try my best to live this in most of everything that happens in my life. But sometimes I don't succeed very well and that I find this is easier said than done. Last Tuesday, it happened again when I felt really neglected because I have not been hearing from a friend I cared about. Suddenly, it seemed that our friendship was important only to me. It's not a new feeling, but this time it felt real. In the past, I would ignore the questions in my mind...after all, I had no expectations. This was an accidental friendship and I was just happy that I found a friend who I felt understood me. But as the years go, I feel from my point of view that the friendship is beginning to fall apart. Maybe because now I have expectations while my friend continue to have none?

But a friendship is like a seed... it is planted, it is nourished, it grows roots before it can survive. Friendship if it is to survive must not be taken for granted. I very much want to keep this friendship but I can't do it alone...unfortunately, it seems that I am on my own.

I hope I'm wrong...that I may be reading more into the actions than what is really there...

I hope :-)

Friday, August 17, 2007

A Love Story

There's a new movie showing right now, starring Aga Muhlach, Maricel Soriano and Angelica Panganiban called A Love Story. It is about an illicit love affair that could question one's belief on marriage and true love. According to its writer, Vanessa Valdez, the story answers a number of "ifs" in marriage — what if one realizes the one they're married to is not the one they want to spend the rest of their life with or what if you meet the woman you want to make your wife only after you've gotten married. Now, that is definitely a problem. A film with the theme of an extra-marital affair is nothing new. In fact, this is an oft-repeated topic since movie-making began. I remember the movies The Philadelphia Story (1940) and it's remake, High Society (1956) and the scenes where the daughter refused to invite her father to her wedding (her second) because he was such a philanderer. I remember the mother telling her daughter very matter-of-factly that her father's affairs did not mean that he no longer loved his wife and family...that oftentimes, men just can't help themselves...and that sometimes affairs had nothing to do with love. But then again, sometimes, it does and it is these kind of affairs that changes lives and love stories. In Falling in Love (1984), Robert de Niro and Meryl Streep met fleetingly while riding a train to work and soon found themselves falling deeply in love and in the process hurt their respective families. In one scene, where Robert de Niro "confessed" to his wife and said something like, it's not an affair, nothing like that has happened and his wife slapped him and said, no, it's something fell in love. There are many more love stories like this...The Prince of Tides, The Bridges of Madison County, Before Sunset, all dealing with themes like infidelity in marriage, faithfulness, true love and second chances...and finally, making a choice between doing the right thing for his/her marriage or doing what he/she thinks and feel is right for his/her extramarital affair with the hope that whatever choice is made will result in the least regrets.

Attraction between people happens to everyone, single or married. Faithfulness for married couples is always a struggle because the temptation of another woman or man and the possibility of having an extra-marital affair is never absent. It will take years and a lot of maturity for married couples to finally be able to say that they have settled down and that nothing can ruin their marriage. Falling in love with someone other than your spouse is not a sin, it can happen to the best of people. The problem lies in the fact that society has a pre-conceived notion of what marriage is and what a husband and a wife should be, or what an extra-marital affair is and the kind of people who enter into such a relationship. For most men and women who are having an affair, their marriage is something that they would like to keep forever and when confronted to make a choice, they'd choose their spouse and children without hesitation. But there are affairs which turn serious enough to end a marriage because as someone put it "it's worth it". But marriages don't end just because of an "affair"...the affair is usually the end-point of an already bad and unsatisfactory marriage. So what does one do when you find yourself in this situation? Aga Muhlach says he prays...I did that too, when confronted with the fact that pretending to be just friends was no longer possible, and that continuing to see each other will lead to the inevitable, and since I had no intention of becoming the other woman...I turned my back and walked away. Besides, I asked myself, if it was "worth it"..worth the guilt, the tension, the pain it would give others...and the answer was no...which probably was the same for him because although disappointed with my decision, he accepted it and his last words to me when he saw how upset I was in ending our friendship time, I will forget him and he will try to forget time passes, the hurt and the pain will disappear and, he was right...I remember him with some regret maybe, but I'm no longer angry that he wanted more than what we already have...

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