Showing posts with label mother-daughter relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother-daughter relationships. Show all posts

Saturday, May 31, 2014

All Mothers Are Real

Mother's Day has come and gone, but the day before that a little girl asked me a question that needed an answer.  She asked me, "are you Preemie Girl's real mother?" Now, I don't know why little girls would even think to ask such questions, but I would make a smart guess that they learn about these words and ideas from the adults around them.  I don't think an innocent child would know that there is such a thing as a "real" mom (or dad, for that matter), if they are not made aware of the difference or this was not pointed out to them by...yes, adults. But that is another story.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Another Adoption Story: Lessons From The Animated Movie, Tangled

I bought my little girl the DVD of the animated musical fantasy Tangled a few weeks ago and since then, it was the daily movie staple every afternoon......up until yesterday.  Why the sudden change?  When I bought it, I knew it was a Rapunzel story but I did not know that it was a musical.  Now, my little girl is three and very bright.  As I was trying to explain the relationship of Rapunzel to the witch by saying that the witch was not Rapunzel's real mother, my 3 year old disagreed and kept insisting..."No, she is her mama".  I then realized that in the song "mother knows best", Rapunzel was an adult and my daughter could not relate this young woman to the baby that was kidnapped by the witch. That song showed a loving, concerned mother who wanted to protect her child.  And so to a young mind, theirs was a mother-daughter relationship.  Where is my problem in all these?  You see, my daughter is adopted and when I said that the witch was not the real mama...she asked, "where is her real mama"?  I suddenly saw myself in the witch role!  I know, I is not the same thing but this is a young mind I am talking to.  What if she starts seeing foster/ adoptive moms as witches?  I learned too late that Tangled is rated PG: for brief mild violence (as if a stabbing and death scene can be considered mild violence).  I actually enjoyed the movie...I thought it was funny with great animation but then I'm a grown-up, not a 3 year old.  Aside from thinking adoptive moms might be witches, now my little girl also thinks horses are like dogs.  There is a lot I have to undo here, tsk, tsk.  Lessons learned?  One, always check the movie rating. Two, for little kids who take things literally, stick to the safe, simple cartoons like Dumbo, The Fox and The Hound, Winnie The Pooh.  Third and most important...Keep the ones with complex mother-daughter relationships for later.....much, much later....

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