BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO EXPECT NOTHING AND THEY SHALL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED
By now, I should have learned that phrase by heart...God knows I have said it to myself a hundred...no, a thousand times for years now. But somehow I never quite got it. So many things still disappoint me...People most especially. I don't know if it's me...or them. Maybe I expect too much, hope too much or I'm just a person who is very hard to please. I know that to a lot of people I may come across as a "difficult" person...because I follow certain standards that are different from theirs. I used to wonder if my standards were too high or hard to do...and someone told me, not really...it's just that they are different. Through the years, I believe I have mellowed. This does not mean I have lowered my standards, on the contrary I think my standards of behavior, ethics, my idealism etc...have even grown higher and stronger. I still get exasperated and frustrated everyday of my life...I still have the propensity to try to solve every problem that comes to my attention even if it's not mine...I still try to teach people how to do things because I lack the patience to wait for them to do it in their own time...I still feel that people can do better if they try hard enough...I still could not stop myself from saying things that I feel should be said, which gets me into trouble now and then. However, I have also learned how to read body language, study each and every circumstance, be more prudent, less impetuous, even-tempered and diplomatic when the situation calls for it. A long time ago people predicted that I would eventually just get tired and give up on trying to change the world...in a way, there's some truth to that prediction...I no longer to want to change the whole world...just my little corner and the people living in this little corner of the world.