Another Adoption Story - How I Told My Son
There are many suggested methods on how to tell a child about his adoption. Based on others and our own family experiences, it is a proven fact that not telling a child about his adoption brought about dire consequences for everyone involved especially if the truth is found out from people other than parents. In the case of my aunt, she found out when she was already 10 years old from well-intentioned relatives who wanted to help her parents resolve her habitual lying when she got caught doing something she shouldn't, like playing hookey from school, for example. Needless to say that was the start of her years of rebellion. I heard other "horror" stories so when the time comes, although I never really thought about it, I knew that I will tell my child the truth. My turn came around the time when my son was around 4 years old when out of the blue while playing in my bed, he reached out to my stomach and said..."I came from here". My initial reaction was to say, "no sweetie, you came from mommy's heart"...but my son, gave me a look and vehemently said...NO! I came from your tummy! That's when I realized, it would not be as simple as I thought. So I sat up, faced him and said, "No my love, you did not come from mommy's tummy...you know what, let me tell you a story..."
"One day, Jesus was walking in heaven's garden and he saw that mommy was sad and alone. And so Jesus was worried and thought, what can he do to make mommy happy? As Jesus was walking around Heaven, he suddenly had an idea..."I will send mommy a baby to love and make her own...oh, but how can I do this because mommy is not young anymore to have babies in her tummy (well, I was in my early 30's)? I know!, Jesus said, "mama will be the baby carriage, she will carry the baby for mommy!" Now who among the little baby angels in heaven wants to be mommy's baby? As Jesus was thinking aloud about this, he saw a little hand waving and waving...it was Angel Ramie! he wants to be mommy's baby! So Jesus asked mama to carry Ramie in her tummy and when it was time to be born, mommy was there to receive her baby and was very happy and grateful to Jesus for giving her Ramie and making her his mommy."
My little boy's facial expression was beaming...his smile was from ear to ear and that was I think one of the most blessed days in my life. I could actually feel God's presence in the room while I was telling the story. After that, all other things were easy to explain. I think the fact that he knows he came from God made everything else immaterial and unimportant. My son took things in a matter-of-fact way...he calls my brother "papa", my cousin, "daddy", our mechanic, "tatay" (which is the Pilipino term for dad) and when people asked why he has so many fathers, he would roll his eyes and say..."just because". He was quite proud of the fact that compared to others he had more than one father. The down side is that when people asked him why he has 2 mothers...he says " because that one is too old to carry me in her tummy". Hahahahah! My son will be 21 in less than a month's time and motherhood has been a rollercoaster ride all the way...fun but terrifying at times too. Thank you Jesus for the gift of motherhood.