Life, Day by Day

as I was thinking on what to title this post, I remembered the TV series, Arrested Development and I sort of thought that it was apt for this entry since I am talking about having a childlike mind in an adult body. Of course, my mental health status is not anywhere near the characters in this series but I do have my "moments" ;) For instance, My 16 year old son says that I am totally so different from his friends' moms, although when the occasion calls for it, I do get into my mommy mode. Most of the time though, he thinks I'm cool! I never thought about it before but I think the reason why aside from being his mom, I'm also his friend is because I remember how it was to be young...

I finally found what my problem is...the child in me is begging to come out but the adult me is trying hard to be sensible, rational and mature...and it's making me listless. I found this website in a round-about-way...through another website called 43 Things and as I was browsing through all the lists, I saw this : Do Kim and Jason's Cure Adultitis 40-day challenge Plan. So off I went to look at their website: kimandjason.com (see my links) and lo and behold...kindred spirits! I took their test and I am actually adultitis-free...so it must be because I'm trying so hard to be an adult that my energy level is getting zapped by all these trying. Am I making sense here? but, I don't have to make a lot of sense, do I...after all I am more childlike that adult :)

I need to find time...and to use it to re-energize...to find my passion for living which somehow I seem to have misplaced somewhere. There always seems to be something going on in my life everyday but it all seems meaningless. I'm not unhappy...on the contrary, my days basically have a lot of laughter. But being busy doing the things I should do is not the same as doing the things I want to do. So what is it? What exactly is missing? Inspiration? Passion? Purpose? I guess basically I want to wake up every morning feeling excited about getting out of bed and doing something to make a difference in people's lives including mine. I want to discover what makes my heart sing...

Now-a-days nothing excites me except perhaps mall sales and shopping...but then I would need a lot of money for that, wouldn't I? I think I need a boost... exactly what kind? ...I'm not sure but I know it should be something to perk me up. Like yesterday for example, there were a lot of activities this Sunday but I had no energy or much interest for it. I just slept the whole afternoon instead of going to the gym where Ramie was having a taekwondo tournament. Is this another burn-out...duh...

The past week has really been weird...I think these series of unfortunate happenings for the past few days is a message of sorts...it's like it's telling me to pay more attention to what is important and essential in life. Okay, so it got my attention...I'm listening. And you know what, if these negative forces think that by making these events happen they can make me lose faith...they're so wrong...nothing, and I mean NOTHING could make me lose my faith and fortitude. I admit that when things go well for me and all my days seem to fall into place, my relationship with God suffers and I am so guilty of neglect...I know that God misses me and is now once again knocking on the door of my heart. I say sorry all the time to Him and again and again He forgives me. I guess, I have no excuse really, except for the reality of my humanity, and my human weaknesses. I will stop making promises that I could never keep anyway, and this time I can only promise to try hard to be fa

The MSN article "The Sexiest Women Over 35" says that true sexiness is molded from the heat of experience and that a woman with no redeeming social value might be "hot" (*cough* Paris Hilton), but she'll never be truly sexy. When I read this article, a light bulb went on in my head...a eureka moment. Now I sort of understand why some people would say that I am "beautiful", "sexy"...words that puzzle me because I don't remember being told these when I was younger...the nearest thing perhaps was "pretty" but beautiful...nah, never...and sexy? bwahahahaha! Seriously though, if I really think about it, I do look better, feel better now than when I was in my 20's and 30's. The article describes Diane Lane, one of my favorite actresses (Must Love Dogs)as classy, stunning and seems to be improving with age, a key indicator of true sexiness. So gaining status, wisdom, emotional security all adds up to sexiness? Hmmm yes, I l

I am not superstitious but when a day like yesterday happens, when one bad thing happens one after the other...then, I start thinking that negative forces in my immediate universe is working in an optimal pace. My tuesday started uneventful enough...I woke up late, as usual. The Ms. Universe 2007 was being shown live on cable TV and so I did not bring my Mom to her CWL seminar. A few minutes later, we got a call from her saying that she must have left her folder full of seminar materials in the tricycle (a motorcycle with a covered sidecar that serves as the main transport in most provincial towns and small cities) that she rode going there but she was not able to get it's number. So the househelp had to go chasing after similar looking tricycles which more or less comprises 80% of all tricycles plying the city route. The Ms. U would not have interested me anymore since the Philippines did not make the cut...but Korea did and being a true fan of Korean cinema and dramas...I dec