Life, Day by Day

My two grandmothers were as different from each other as oil and water.  Lola Rizing@age 40 My paternal grandmother Rizalina Javelona Lopez , died at age 91...a pretty long life. We had our share of long conversations which consisted mostly of her memories and how she would have lived her life if she had the chance to do it all over again. She told me stories no one in the family knew. I am very privileged to share a few of her secrets. Her husband and eventually her children too, looked upon her as a very dependent person, and thus treated her like a child. But the Lola Rizing I knew was someone who was not an intellectual or highly educated, but was very insightful and extremely wise in her old age...someone who outwardly manifested a soft character but inside was a strong, self-sacrificing woman who would do anything for the children and grandchildren she loved. Her opinions did not matter much to her husband so she learned to keep it to herself, deferring to him at all t

It's a brand new year and almost everyone I know is thinking about what is in store for them and for the world in 2009. But, I don't look that far ahead...I think that planning and then failing is too depressing...so, although I do follow a schedule, flexible at that...I always think and plan my life in terms of days...or if needed, 2-3 months max. I don't dwell on what if's or what could be...but that does not mean that I am not introspective or that I am impulsive...it just means that I don't worry about it. The fact is I am a cautious and deliberate person...I don't do things without thinking of consequences...and because I am like this, I believe that nothing happens by chance. So my wish for 2009 is that it will be a year of happy consequences for me, my loved ones, my work and the people I work with. Happy New Year!!!

I became a mom in February 1991, the month my father died. I did not plan on motherhood, not for lack of a maternal instinct but mainly because I was already in my 30's with no relationship that was serious enough for marriage...yes, I believe that children should be born out of love and marriage. At a time when my family was experiencing a strong sense of loss, this 3 month old baby boy came into our lives. He brought laughter when we found very little reason to do so. His presence at home made us forget our sadness and we all began focusing our attention on him. Before long, I was spending more time with him than any other aspect in my life...even my work and friends. In fact, this was the year I started being late for work almost everyday because I was putting him first before anything else. In other words, I fell in love. He was God's gift to me and he made me a mother before it was too late. Two days from now, on November 3, 2008, this baby turns 18. Looking back, he

The Wish... Two years ago I celebrated a milestone and one of my fondest wish was to be gifted a yellow labrador. I started sending out hints to my guests-to-be...but they all ignored me, for the simple reason that these dogs were too expensive for their wallets. The argument was...if I was not willing to part with my hard-earned money to buy one...why should they? But...but...it was my birthday! Anyway, I didn't get it...until... The Better Late than Never Gift... Last Sunday, 2 years, 5 months and several days after that all important birthday, my son's friend casually mentioned that he was giving away 2 more puppies of his yellow lab. Now, imagine me looking disinterested but deep inside my heart was pounding with excitement saying to my son... why don't you get one ? And his friend said he can give us one if we want it...before my son could say anything, I said with a big grin... we'll pick it up tomorrow . The next day, after my meetings in Bacolod, I went s

My parents had 3 children, 2 sons and a daughter, but only one got married...the oldest son, my younger brother. He has 2 children from this marriage, a boy and a girl. This marriage was doomed from the start and eventually ended. The kids are now 14 and 11 respectively and are really bright and gifted...their parents are so lucky to have them. Unfortunately both my brother and his ex-wife are the kind of people who should never have children. Why? Well, because in their hierarchy of needs, their number one priority is themselves. Their needs, wants and activities come first before their children or everything else for that matter and so, my nephew and niece do not experience the kind of nurturing that growing children should have. Today was the beginning salvo of my nephew's high school intramurals. He was participating in the cheerdance contest and I found out yesterday that none of his parents will be watching him perform. The reason? His dad couldn't get off from wor

By now, I should have learned that phrase by heart...God knows I have said it to myself a hundred...no, a thousand times for years now. But somehow I never quite got it. So many things still disappoint me...People most especially. I don't know if it's me...or them. Maybe I expect too much, hope too much or I'm just a person who is very hard to please. I know that to a lot of people I may come across as a "difficult" person...because I follow certain standards that are different from theirs. I used to wonder if my standards were too high or hard to do...and someone told me, not really...it's just that they are different. Through the years, I believe I have mellowed. This does not mean I have lowered my standards, on the contrary I think my standards of behavior, ethics, my idealism etc...have even grown higher and stronger. I still get exasperated and frustrated everyday of my life...I still have the propensity to try to solve every problem that comes to

After Dr. Seuss, there's Spencer Johnson . I first read...well, scanned actually his book Who Moved My Cheese approximately 2 years ago when this was given as a reading assignment in a seminar where I was one of the facilitators. At that time, I thought it was a cute little story but did not really impress me. Last month I bought a copy and this time gave it a good read and suddenly, what I was reading was making a lot of sense. I guess that what was written in the book was something I needed to hear at this point in my life when I feel that I am at a dead-end, and therefore I need to get moving or else! Not everyone who reads this book the first time will appreciate the message...like me, for example...unless it relates to one's life experience. I finally understood the wisdom of it's message because for the past few years my life's direction has not been going anywhere. I feel like I have been going around in circles day in and day out. This year I had a light