Life, Day by Day

Christmas when I was a child was all about tradition...the family gatherings at my grandparents whether in Manila or in Silay, the "you have to go to sleep or Santa won't come" threat after dinner, the opening of gifts and noche buena at midnight, the Christmas morning breakfast and mass, and luncheon with all the other relatives and extended families.  After my maternal grandfather died, my maternal grandmother soon after moved to Bacolod.  Although Christmas celebrations continued to be traditional, it stayed local...meaning we stopped going to Manila for the holiday season.  Then my uncle (Dad's brother) and paternal grandfather died within a month of each other.  And so, that year because my Dad's side of the family did not want to celebrate in Silay with all the memories of Christmas past, we went to Manila and Christmas Eve was spent in a hotel room near Paco Park and New Year's eve in the boat coming back to Negros. 

Once in a while I do get superstitious, especially when something bad happens to things at home one after another.  I get this eerie sense that when these occur it somehow offsets a worse event from happening and I can only feel relief.  Suddenly it does not matter that over the weekend my son lost another cell-phone... that this morning, our table top Christmas tree fell again...that my expensive hair clip broke...and that the staff of the mini St. Joseph  broke after my daughter threw the small statue.  Over-all, it has been a great week and today was a very good day.  But isn't it scary when life seems almost perfect?  So when something makes my day imperfect, I always thank God that all that negative energy has been channeled to something unimportant and replaceable in my life. And that I am once again lucky and blessed.

On Friday, I will be a wedding godmother to someone I have known since she was a little girl.  I have seen her grow up and shared her parent's pride when she passed the CPA exams.  She has become one lovely young woman and the man she is marrying is one lucky guy! It also dawned on that I am indeed growing older...I am now often asked to be a principal sponsor...a role that is reserved for mature and respected friends and members of the family.  I guess I am pretty lucky having experienced all the roles in a wedding entourage from flower girl...to bridesmaid...to secondary sponsor...and finally principal sponsor.  The first time I was asked was a few years back when I could not say no to my father's close friend to be a godmother to his apo (grand-child) from Canada who was getting married here.  After that I would refuse  requests although I have been told that I should not turn down one but I believe that being a wedding godmother comes with much respons...

When we get married, the next logical thing that happens are the coming of the children.  But when a marriage fails, what happens to the children?  Often times couples forget that the failure of a marriage does not only involve the two of them but largely affects the children. It cannot be denied that the family is vital in the development of children.  I do not think I would be the person that I am if my parents did not prioritize family, specifically their kids. We knew our parents had problems in their marriage but they never made us afraid that our family will fall apart...we were raised secure, comforted by their love and devotion. Yes, it may sound selfish but when you are a child, your parents and family is the only world you know of.  This is why parenthood is such a big sacrifice albeit, a fruitful and joyful one.  So, even if the marriage can't be saved, the children should always remain the priority of the couple. The children should be m...

Twenty years ago, my son came into my life as a 3 month old baby a few days after my dad passed away. My Dad had a massive first heart attack and the family was so unprepared for the loss. He attached himself to me before he could even say mama and as soon as he can walk he would follow me around...wherever I was in the house, he would be right there beside me. This little baby boy stole my heart like no man has ever done. He has given me the gift of motherhood and I finally understood what unconditional love looked like. When he was little I would always pray that he would turn out to be a good man...and well...I also hoped he would be tall since his birth mother is a very short person. So, I made him drink liters of milk, gave him growth vitamins and made him sleep early. When he turned 16, he was almost 5 feet 9 and I said to myself...I don't want to be greedy...5'9" is okay Lord. Well, he grew another inch taller...as well as bigger! And so, I begged the Lord.....

I looked up the legal definition of a family and this is what I got...and this ...and then this . It only goes to show that today's family is difficult to define because of its diversity primarily due to the many changes it has undergone through the years. In school I was taught that a family consists of a father, a mother and a child.  That teaching continues to this day even when families and family dynamics are no longer as simple as that.  When my son was in Grade 2 in a local Catholic school, his social studies teacher asked them to say something about their families and some of the children gave unusual answers.  She obviously was unprepared (or simply clueless) for what they gave because, not getting the "right" answers, she further explained that a father is the one that made your mother pregnant and a mother is the one who carried you in her tummy! Of course, when he was picked up from school, the first thing my son asked was, "where is my father" and...

As I am making more progress on my parents' respective family trees, I am also discovering a lot of family secrets...or maybe they were not really secrets but just got buried in the past.  As I unravel our family histories, I realize that human behavior then was not much different from what it is today. The only difference is that in the past there were clear cut rules on appropriate behavior while in this modern age, what is right and wrong has become relative. The poignant movie The Age of Innocence is a good example of how relationships and it's complications were handled by the middle and upper class in the 19th to the mid 20th century. There was a standard of behavior that put emphasis on importance of family and respect of society. If you fail to observe these, you are banished, exiled or marked as a persona non grata doomed to be set aside and ignored by family and society the rest of your life.  In the past, arranged marriages were common and if you're lucky, you m...

It's on!  The Eustaquio Lopez Descendants will have a pot luck merienda cena meet and greet gathering on Saturday, November 6, 2010.  Venue will be in Titil's place in Villa Valderrama.  Of course we will be including the one who started it all, Tito Rollie Espina, whose dream is to keep the legacy of Graciano Lopez y Jaena alive among the descendants of the clan.  I am so excited...maybe we can finally get our Lopez genealogy book going...

I decided to attend a Blogging talk organized by the Negros Bloggers at SM Bacolod today.  I was looking forward to learning more about blogging and I was not disappointed.  The talks were simple but very practical.  I also learned that I did not need a DSLR to get great pictures and that I could actually make some money from blogging...well, I knew that, but I did not know how. In fact, my cluelessness and impulsiveness in the past only made me lose money which I could ill afford. It is still not very clear to me but now, I know who to ask and how to ask for help in making my blog earn for me. Of course, blogging is not going to be a career for me anytime soon...but if I get paid for doing something I enjoy...wouldn't that be like having your cake and eating it all at the same time?

The week-long seminar in Iloilo was a big fiasco...from the venue to the course to the trip home.  But first, my top reasons why I will never go back to Iloilo's premier hotel, at least until they improve their facilities and service. For Php1,800++ (seminar rate), you get these: Poor housekeeping service - dusty rugs, airconditioners delayed delivery of towels and when finally delivered...old towels (dirty white color and thin) bed linens changed every other day but flannel under the bed sheet is changed ONLY WHEN IT GETS DIRTY (whattt????) foam pillows...additional foam pillows cost Php 25, a waste of good money ceiling over the shower/bathtub area was oozing with water droplets shower curtain bottom part...yellowish with mildew   2.  No outside telephone line...you have to dial 0 and pass through the operator...even in their restaurants...AND their front desk hang up on my caller!    3.  TV remote was defective...I was too tired t...

I attended a week long seminar in Iloilo with 3 other co-workers and we were quite excited about it thinking it will be a nice break from work.  Indeed, it was a break from routine but not necessarily a good one :(  The seminar venue was Iloilo's Premier Hotel and the last time I stayed here was in the mid-90's when it was still relatively new.  So I was excited to come back to the hotel which gave me many fun memories.  To my dismay, it has become a shadow of what it was before .  The seminar hall was located on the second floor where a renovation was going on. I could not understand what management was thinking of!  The noise from the hammers, the smell from the paint was terrible. It was also quite warm because the AC's were not strong enough.  The secretariat was trying to stop the carpenters from all that hammering and they did...only to shift to painting which nauseated most of the participants.  By noon, we "asked" to transfer to another...

I am a relatively honest person...what you see is what you get and I have very few secrets, probably because I am not very good at remembering or keeping one.  On the other hand, I would always tell my friends that if they have something to confide, they should make me promise to keep it a secret and I will honor that promise till the end of time. But what about family secrets ? The kind that everyone wants to forget...those that are considered taboo...those which changed lives...or that which was deemed so humiliating and scandalous that to talk about it will mean banishment! (big grin) Well, I think every family has at least one and family secrets have a way of making themselves known...sooner or later. Why?  Oftentimes, simply because the time has come to tell the real story.  Although I personally believe that family secrets are not subjects for bedtime stories, I also believe that there are those because of their very nature, have been the subject of sp...

I remember looking at my grandfather's photo albums as a child and wondering who all those people in the pictures were.  My paternal grandfather was a meticulous man and it was this trait that preserved all those family pictures in several albums.  Those albums are in my aunt's keeping and I hope my cousin would finally find the time to digitalize them all because they contain precious and priceless memories.  These photographs are proof of our family roots and can greatly help in validating family connections. I have always been interested in history and genealogy and I am trying to complete our own family tree.  I was able to buy the genealogy books of three families in my paternal line but I missed getting that of my paternal great grandmother's father's genealogy book.  I should get one during the next reunion (although I rarely attend those things).  I enjoy reading through the list of names...awed with the fact that once we were all connected by one s...

Mornings at Lalimar is breathtaking...you wake up to this... a view of serene water meeting the blue sky... My brother was up early, so he had breakfast with our driver-mechanic at the resto-bar by the pool. My mom, daughter and her nanny were having their breakfast at the cottage veranda and told me to order mine. I wanted bacon and eggs but was told "baconsilog" was not available so I opted for "longsilog" instead, also to be delivered to the cottage of course...I told you, they had great room service...although I think it's also because my mom is a big tipper :) The kids were still asleep so I decided to explore our surroundings while waiting for breakfast. Cottage 1 where we stayed the beautiful eternity pool As you can see from my amateur pictures (taken with a simple digital camera), that this is a beautiful place and I'm very happy that we came.  Although the beach was full of stones, pebbles and corals, they were n...

The coastal view from Vallehermoso to La Libertad is breathtaking. I would love to have a home here where you wake up to the sea and sky becoming one. The road trip to Lalimar Resort took about an hour and it was easy to find since it is located right along the highway. The place looked clean and parking was spacious. There were a lot of people but I found out that these were just day guests. It was a very informal set-up...reception was also located at the bar where I found Leny who was in-charge of our reservation. I knew that check-in time was 2 PM but we arrived early a little past 1 PM and our room was still being readied but the staff was kind enough to allow us to stay in the porch while waiting. The room was very spacious, T&B was clean and there was hot and cold water. After a simple check-in procedure, we all settled in...and the kids went around to explore the place. I checked out the bar...and found that mineral water and sodas were expensive...a liter of Wilkens...

It was after the surgical mission organized by the Provincial Health Office in '97 or '98 in Calatrava town that the team decided to come back to Bacolod via the new Negros Translink Highway.  It was about 60% finished then, steep and dusty with some fantastic sceneries.  Today, more than 10 years after, it is a bustling highway and the scenery became even more beautiful. The waterfall which I first saw in the 90's is still there with it's viewing deck.  There are vendors now selling foodstuffs and restrooms! The air here is cold and if you plan to stay longer and explore, it would be practical to wear something  to keep you warmer or bring a jacket. But sadly, there is one thing that has not changed much...and that is, denuded hills. I still do not see new trees in the hills of San Carlos and Negros Oriental.  After some picture taking and a car-sickness mishap (all that zig-zags and curves took its toll), we arrived in San Carlos at around 10 AM.  San ...

For the longest time I have been wanting to take a road trip to Northern Negros via the Translink Highway that run from Salvador Benedicto town to San Carlos City .  The first time I passed through here was in the mid 90's when it was still being completed...the view was fantastic but on the roadsides were basically just nipa huts and road workers.  I remember we were a convoy of ambulances and we would wave at the people and they would wave back, especially the children.  I actually felt like some minor celebrity...heehee.  And so last June 5, 2010, a day after my brother's birthday, we decided to take that road trip.

Do you ever get that feeling that there is something you are trying to find in your life but you don't really know what it is? Well, I do...and I get it in waves.  You know, one that comes and goes...it does not have a pattern but it happens once or twice every few years and when it does, I get unfocused.  Heehee...after writing that, I realized I make it sound like I'm having some kind of breakdown.  Don't worry, I am as sane as ever (although some people I know would disagree), it's just that I get these times in my life when I ask myself, is this it for me?  I guess it's part of the aging process when you know that there is really no turning back and you realize...hey, my life is half over!  Where did all that time go?  How come I don't feel older? But...but...there are still so many things I want to do!  A friend jokingly said...the heat must be getting to me ;)  He also said that there will always be enough time.  This friend is wise and...

After posting my travel photos to Facebook and this blog, I got a lot of comments re: how nice Singapore is, how orderly and efficient, how modern, how disciplined, etc.  Basically, I agree with all comments except that somehow beneath all that orderliness, efficiency and modernism lies a restless spirit...is it dissatisfaction? defiance? cynicism? boredom?...I can't quite pinpoint it, but somehow the impression I get is that people are not really happy with their lives and that life is not quite satisfying as it seems.  Even our tour guide who seemed up all the time, seemed to me as trying very hard to show his enthusiasm.  One would think that in a country where the per capita income is very high having a highly developed market-based economy, life would be very satisfactory and happier, but it seems not, since you rarely see people smiling and looking happy or friendly in Singapore.  Almost everyone looked very business like (not to mention tired) and in a hurry, ...

Port Klang is about an hour ride from Kuala Lumpur (I know I said that before)...I spent the whole trip thinking about "my bell"...it was a quiet ride to the port and even the scenery was sparse.  In fact I saw several unoccupied and empty townhouses, business establishments on the way.  The Star Cruises Terminal Port is located at Pulau Indah which is located next to the cargo terminals of Westport and is quite impressive but there were very few people around except for some parked taxis waiting for passengers who want to go around.  Still thinking about the bell...I saw one in a souvenir shop but it cost RM 25...okay, so I am obsessing about it but I am not that obsessed! This was our last night on the boat, and so we had dinner at one of their more formal restaurants.  The boat left the port for the trip back to Singapore at about 8:30 PM.  After dinner, some of the group went to watch a show and enjoyed the other amenities on the ship.  I on the ...

After a very sumptuous lunch at Hotel Equatorial, we proceeded to ride the bus that would take us to Kuala Lumpur.  It was a very short visit to Melaka/Malacca and because we basically just moved around the Bandar Hilir area, I'm sure there is more to the whole city than just the Dutch Square, St. Paul's Hill and Chinese temples.  I would like to visit again one day and take in more sights and explore the whole city. We left Malacca at about 1 PM passing through the more modern part of the city until we got to the North-South Expressway ....Kuala Lumpur, here we come! It was a 2 hour drive and as soon as we got to the expressway, our guide allowed us to nod off to lalaland ☺☺☺ .  After dozing off for a half hour or more, I started to be more aware of our surroundings and there was one thing I noticed...emergency phones every 2 kilometers or so, and there were motorcycle lanes! The landscape was also mostly palm trees, plantations probably...I was trying to look for rubb...

First day of the cruise, I was up by 5:30 AM, ready by 6:20, breakfast by 6:30 and waiting at The Lido by 7:00 AM for our shore excursion to Melaka and Kuala Lampur.  This was a technical stop for the ship and we will be transferring to a tender boat which will bring us to the Melaka port since the shallow waters there will not allow the ship to dock.  Entering the boat, I had this deja vu feeling...I think because it was like a harbor pilot's boat and something similar to what my maternal grandfather would use when he meets and goes up the international ships he would guide in entering the Manila port.  The short trip took less than an hour and this was what greeted us...and quite friendlier faces complete with a good morning greeting from immigration and the coast guard. Melaka was recognized in 2008 by UNESCO as a world heritage city. We were first brought to this place, "Dutch Square", with its Town Hall, Clock Tower and Church. We then went up St.Paul'...

This was my early dinner at Seoul Garden...can you see the sausages? the chili fish balls? what were the rest? After dinner we were shuttled by the bus to Singapore Cruise Center at Habourfront where our ship, the Superstar Virgo was docked.  Our cruise guide, Icen took care of checking us into the ship and distributed our luggage tags earlier, so that when we got there, all we had to do was to tag our luggage and the next time we see them would be in front of our cabins. Immigration was still closed so we took turns standing in line.  Finally, they opened at 8:30 PM and after about 30 minutes waiting we passed immigration and entered the terminal bridge to the ship.  There were mascots with ship photographers waiting for picture taking as we walked along the long and carpeted bridge and we were required to swipe our key cards before entering the ship...pretty fast and efficient but not exactly as I imagined it to be...you know something like those scenes from the L...

Arghhhhh! wake-up call 6:30 AM and it's still dark outside!  It seems that sunrise and sunset come later in Singapore than in the Philippines.  We were instructed to be at the lobby by 8 AM for our short ride to Fort Canning Lodge for instructions on the cruise, some activities and lunch at their Coffee House. By 1 PM we were let loose at Orchard Road, first stop... Ngee Ann City where the high-end Japanese owned department store Takashimaya is located. We were brought to Level 2 where all the branded boutiques were and where we were instructed to converge back at the information lobby by 5:30 PM.  Since my point of interest was neither electronics nor the high-end brands, I opted to walk along Orchard Road to look for The Heeren where a neighbor's son works at the Subway Restaurant. After walking several hundred meters, I saw it but unfortunately, the son was off duty but will be coming in at 5 PM for some paperwork but I could not wait for him, so I just left a mes...