Life, Day by Day

Today is Christmas Day ...a few more hours and it will be a day of the past. I went to hear mass at 11 AM, having overslept after our noche buena celebration which ended at about 2 AM. As I listened to the sermon, the words of the priest struck a note because he talked about something which I needed to hear.

The last time I saw them was in 1984 just before they left to immigrate in the US with their parents. They were children then and so much has happened and changed since then. Last week, they came to visit...our US based first cousins, children of my mom's youngest brother. They came with their mother, my uncle's first wife and also, the 4 year old daughter of my cousin, the first grandchild in their family. It was good to see them all grown up and leading relatively responsible lives. It would have been really wonderful if their dad was with them but, he passed away 2 years ago and part of his ashes is buried here with his parents. But, like what his daughter said, she was sure that their papa was with them in spirit and happy to see them connecting with his family here. I think so too...and my mom after we brought them to the airport and saw them off...said aloud, " Raul, are you happy now? "

Two years ago in July 2003, I wrote this in my first blog... The unexpected happened over the weekend. Some battle-scarred officers and soldiers decided to launch a mutiny during the early hours of Saturday morning. I was suddenly awakened by my mom at 4 am, ending my restful weekend plans. Let me explain something here. The Philippines is an archipelago made up of many islands...so that whatever happens in Manila does not mean it is happening everywhere else. Of course, the tension isn't any less. I think the government handled it very well. Now all they have to do is to pay attention to the issues and accusations of these soldiers and then maybe we can now go forward in our quest for a stable economy. You'd think that the rebels who call themselves Magdalo would have learned their lesson but no, they did it again. This time by forcing their way into The Manila Peninsula , one of the country's premier hotel last November 29, 2007. That morning, I was on the plane coming...

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, tha...

Before anything else, I just want to say that what I wrote about goodbye doesn't mean forever is not a confession of someone "in love"...lest I be misunderstood. I am not talking about love in the context of being in love. Yet, there is a special regard...something akin to filial love. It's the feeling you get when you miss a close friend and would like to be with that friend...it is feeling disappointed when you realize that you are not as important to your friend as he is to you...it is feeling bad when your friend doesn't find time for you...and because of all these feelings, sadness and uncertainty happens causing you to be afraid that you are slowly losing a friend. If all these feelings mean I love my friend, then I guess I do. After listening to the song My Goodbye Girl, I wanted to believe that the lyrics applied to me and my friend, that's why I posted it here. But as an afterthought, I now believe that our kind of friendship is pretty superficia...

"The Goodbye Girl" is a single released by David Gates, lead singer of the group Bread, in 1977 following the premiere of the hit movie by the same title (based on a book by Neil Simon). The lyrics says so many of the things I want to say, but am afraid to say...to the someone I thought was my friend... All your life you've waited For love to come and stay And now that I have found you You must not slip away I know it's hard believin' The words you've heard before But darlin' you must trust them just once more 'Cause baby, goodbye doesn't mean forever Let me tell you Goodbye doesn't mean We'll never be together again If you wake up and I'm not there I won't be long away 'Cause the things you do my goodbye girl Will bring me back to you I know you've been taken Afraid to hurt again You fight the love you feel for me Instead of givin' in But I can wait forever Helping you to see That I was meant for you and you for me S...

For me (and probably for most others too) the internet is not only a source of information but also an avenue for networking and meeting people from all over the world. Sites like Facebook, Friendster, My Space, Multiply, Youtube among many others have brought people together (whether in a good or bad way, will not be discussed here). I continue to be amazed with the virtual world and how this has made it possible for me to find old friends, family I never knew existed and meet new, interesting people. Through the years I have developed friendships online, some are still going strong while others are in limbo or just faded away. It is those lost friendships that I still think about… why did it end and when did it end ? It is a fact that the friendships that begin online is not the same as those that we develop through face to face interaction. It is something similar to the kind of friendships that we made with our pen-pals in elementary and high school (although a few of mine extende...

I would always say... blessed are those who expect nothing and they shall not be disappointed , and I try my best to live this in most of everything that happens in my life. But sometimes I don't succeed very well and that I find this is easier said than done. Last Tuesday, it happened again when I felt really neglected because I have not been hearing from a friend I cared about. Suddenly, it seemed that our friendship was important only to me. It's not a new feeling, but this time it felt real. In the past, I would ignore the questions in my mind...after all, I had no expectations. This was an accidental friendship and I was just happy that I found a friend who I felt understood me. But as the years go, I feel from my point of view that the friendship is beginning to fall apart. Maybe because now I have expectations while my friend continue to have none? But a friendship is like a seed... it is planted, it is nourished, it grows roots before it can survive. Friendship i...

The latest news on the Glorietta 2 Mall blast is that it's in all probability not a bomb BUT...then again it could not be ruled out yet as they still have to recover the submersible pump that was placed in the basement a few days before the blast occurred. It is believed that the blast originated from here. Whatever the cause, it is prudent to avoid overcongested malls like the Glorietta. When I'm in Manila, I usually just go to Greenbelt or Rockwell...EDSA Shangrila is good too as well The Podium but, the safest place they said is Virra Mall in Greenhills because that's where all the Muslim entrepreneurs are ;)

The first semester for the SY 07-08 has ended and Ramie failed his accounting subject. He didn't expect it because he had passing grades for the pre-lims and midterm...so he was really downhearted. I did not get angry anymore but he had to take a lecture from me. The up-side is that he got a 25 % athletic scholarship for the second semester for being in the Taekwondo Varsity Team of the university. It was a good semester for the Section of Bioethics of the College of Medicine. One of the faculty is back after finishing the Erasmus Mundos Masters in Bioethics program, so now we might be able to start our own Bioethics program in the graduate school. Hopefully we will be able to develop better teachers and established a department, not just a section. I was also made a part of the green team during the University Days and it gave me the opportunity to bond with the students. We were the Green Gang and we gave a good fight...unfortunately we lost but we had the coolest t-shi...

In our lifetime, there are many firsts...first teeth, first food, first haircut, first steps, first words and more...all of these are usually documented in pictures or in a diary or album. But there are also many firsts that are just kept stored in our memory banks...the ones that just happen because it's part of living and growing. Things like.... first crush, first love, first kiss, first date, first heartache etc... For today, I decided to write down as many firsts of this category (rated GP...hahaha) that I can remember before memory loss sets in... 1. first crush - at age 10, I developed a crush on a 16 year old 3rd cousin who I thought looked like Paul MaCartney. I followed him around the whole summer...my first serious stalking activity ;) 2. first dance - also at age 10...I went along with my Mom to the Seniors' graduation party of the high school where she was teaching. Physically I looked about 13 or 14 having developed earlier than girls' my age. There...

At approximately 1:30 PM today a loud and strong explosion occurred in Glorietta 2 in Makati City, ending my restful weekend plans. Initial report says that it was a gas explosion but later, it was more or less established that in all probability, it was a very strong bomb. Once again people from the opposition used this to sow intrigue in the minds of the public. One of the first ones who gave a statement was Antonio Trillanes, one of those soldiers who launched a mutiny in 2003 in Oakwood (which incidentally is adjacent to Glorietta) saying that this is a diversionary tactic of government. What? That's a sick mind! It is during times like this that we should act as one people and help each other deal with this tragedy. It is not the time to point fingers. The Philippines is an archipelago made up of many islands...so that whatever happens in Manila does not mean it is happening everywhere else in the country but this is different because the enemy could be right beside you.

Someone sent me this…Let me validate this one by one…those statements without comment is true, 99% of the time :) APRIL BABY 1. Suave and compromising. (depends on the situation) 2. Funny and humorous. 3. Stubborn (how can one be compromising and then stubborn…duh) . Very talkative. Calm and cool. 4. Kind and Sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. 5. Loyal. Does Work well with others. Very confident.. 6. Sensitive (observant is a better word) . Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. 7. Good Memory. Clever and knowledgeable. 8. Loves to look For information. 9. Able to cheer everyone up and/or Make them laugh. 10. Able to motivate oneself and Others. 11. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. 12. Secretive. (not…although I do have some secrets ;) ) 13. Boy/girl crazy (in my youth?….nah) 14. Loves sports (purely as an spectator) , music, leisure and Travelling. 15. Systematic. 16. Hot but has brains. Now I dare anyon...

This is interesting... I kinda knew I was not meant for heaven straight-away ;) Dante's Inferno Test - You Have Been Judged Your fate has been decided.... You are one of the lucky ones! Because of your virtue and beliefs, you have escaped eternal punishment. You are sent to Purgatory! Purgatory You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven. The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory! Here is how you matched up against all the levels: Level Score Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Hi...

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Personality   Your best quality is your personality! People like you because you are an all around good person. You have good manners and values. You also like to express your personal style and interests. Loving   Out-Going   Intelligence   Sense of Humor   Ambitious   What's Your Best Quality? Take More Quizzes

Please remember that this test isn't meant to diagnose you. Only a professional can do that. Below are your test results, broken down for the ten different personality disorders. You are rated "low," "moderate," "high," or "very high" probability for each disorder. Low or moderate ratings mean that you are unlikely to have the disorder. High or very high means you are more likely to have the disorder. Only a professional can diagnose a disorder, however. Disorder Rating Paranoid Personality Disorder : Low Schizoid Personality Disorder : Low Schizotypal Personality Disorder : Low Antisocial Personality Disorder : Low Borderline Personality Disorder : Low Histrionic Personality Disorder : Low Narcissistic Personality Disorder : Low Avoidant Personality Disorder : Low Dependent Personality Disorder : Low Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder : Low -- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info -- Awww, I'm mildly disappointe...

I went to an all-girls high school although I did have boys as classmates in elementary and intermediate grades. But I don't remember much about those days...I think I spent high school in a blur, maybe because I did not become part of any group or clique so that I wasn't able to create a lot of memories. Looking back, my high school life was pretty much about growing up from childhood to teenager. I entered high school at age 11 and graduated at 15...still a child, really. I wasn't even allowed to party with boys yet! My main preoccupation then was reading...I literally finished most if not all of the books in our school library. I was seen as a quiet girl by the other year levels because they saw me as always reading. Of course, my own classmates did not think so because I was quite talkative and opinionated since I had all these general knowledge in my head. They considered me to be very childish compared to them who were a year or two older than me (translation: they ...

It happens...that sometimes our self-talk can no longer be separated from what is real and what is not...from what is false and what is true. The things that we tell ourselves sometimes reaches a point that the what is and what should be becomes a blur. Many people are like this. Even me. Sometime in our lives, we have experienced distorting truth and convincing ourselves that we are right. But self-talk is actually good. It's a way of coping and builds self-confidence. It only becomes damaging when it makes a person delusional, egotistical and narcissistic. Then, that person becomes his own worst enemy.

what do you call watching WWE or Jack TV?...mindless entertainment! The kids at home watch it for the simple reason that there's nothing else to watch...and that it's silly and funny. I must admit that MAD TV makes me laugh ...and I need that. In this day of high stress environment, we all think too much and make ourselves sick thinking. There is a need for more laughter in our lives to maintain our well-being and if watching shows like these makes us laugh, then so be it... mindless entertainment or bust !

Today, I'm in the mood for some really risky behavior...I actually have several things on my "wish I can do this now" list...like going for a long ride on high gear on a Suzuki bike or maybe spend a long weekend on a secluded beach front villa with its own jacuzzi,lap pool and personal masseuse(with a Brad Pitt look-a-like in tow, would be good)...or spend a day shooting at the picture of the person who's pissing me off... but maybe it would be simpler to just hope that he chokes on his food tonight and is brought to the ER and nobody would resuscitate him...YES! Is wishing someone dead the same as killing him?....nah! Someone told me that in a dispute, the first one who gets mad loses... guess, I should go ride that bike instead, huh.

Your results: You are Wonder Woman Wonder Woman 75% Green Lantern 45% The Flash 45% Robin 45% Catwoman 40% Supergirl 35% Hulk 35% Superman 35% Spider-Man 25% Iron Man 25% Batman 10% You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character. Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

I just discovered Facebook and since I registered last Sunday, I have been spending a lot of my internet time on it! Yes, Celine Lopez is right when she said it was addicting. I have only made 2 friends so far, but I am so having fun with all the features I am discovering...it's definitely better than Friendster and it even makes me laugh! So I guess you could say that I am hooked and in a way it's helping me put aside even for just a little while all the problems in the hospital ( including the 2 people who are trying their utmost to make my life difficult ) that is way beyond my control anyway. This site has everything,...well almost ...games, quizzes, music...you look for it, it has them, it's like being in a large playland with lots of things to do. I rarely go on-line at home but for the past few days now, I have been doing that and it's all because of FB! and to think that I have been promising myself to finish reading all the books that have been gathering du...

I found this in a gypsy soul ...can't say I'm too happy being a sudan but somehow, the description sounds apt for today...and yes, sometimes, I could be a nubian goat :) You're Sudan! Every time you get a headache,you reach for some aspirin,only to realize that someone destroyed it. That's just how things are going for you right now...it's hard to eat,hard to sleep,hard to not have a headache. You try to relax,but people always jump on you about something that doesn't make sense.  If you were a goat, you'd be a Nubian. Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Family reunions were never a big deal for me since I really could just barely stand spending time and talking with some of my closest blood relatives (mostly on my dad's side)...don't get me wrong, I care about all of them and in fact, a few are my best friends but there is a bunch that I really have nothing in common with and have a totally different value system so that being around them makes reunions a path to sanctification for me ;) But with the death of the two in-laws (all on my mother's side), family get-togethers were the norm for the past two weeks and I found myself going from one relative to another for lunch or dinner. I have not seen some of these relatives for a long time, others arrived from Canada or the U.S. so that even though I was not one to initiate a reunion, it is during occasions like these that I am more conscious of the importance of family ties especially for those of us who are now in our mid-life. Most families lose touch with their cousins a...

There's a new movie showing right now, starring Aga Muhlach, Maricel Soriano and Angelica Panganiban called A Love Story . It is about an illicit love affair that could question one's belief on marriage and true love. According to its writer, Vanessa Valdez, the story answers a number of "ifs" in marriage — what if one realizes the one they're married to is not the one they want to spend the rest of their life with or what if you meet the woman you want to make your wife only after you've gotten married. Now, that is definitely a problem . A film with the theme of an extra-marital affair is nothing new. In fact, this is an oft-repeated topic since movie-making began. I remember the movies The Philadelphia Story (1940) and it's remake, High Society (1956) and the scenes where the daughter refused to invite her father to her wedding (her second) because he was such a philanderer. I remember the mother telling her daughter very matter-of-factly that her...

And the answer is...no, not really. As I write this, I am saying to myself...why has this question come to my mind, all of a sudden? It's a little embarassing to talk about falling in love at this point in my life but somehow, the events these past few months have made me think about the things I might have missed in my life...and I guess, falling madly deeply crazily in love is on top of that list. It's not that I have not fallen in love ...if you can call being seriously infatuated , love. But there was never anyone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with or someone I could break all the rules for or someone who has left me heart broken. Is it because I never met the right person, or never allowed myself to be totally vulnerable or am I just too hard to please and were my standards impossible to begin with? Hmmm...I think being raised to be independent and self-assured, my needs and wants somehow differed from the other girls of my generation. I never gave marriage a s...

Most of us in our adult life have experienced losing someone we love...family, a friend, a lover...whether the loss is due to separation or death, it really doesn't matter because the pain, the hurt, the loss is almost the same, the difference is in how long you grieve over the loss. This past week, we had 2 deaths in our extended family. Both were in their twilight years and if we were to be pragmatic about it, their passing should really be more of a reward and a celebration of a life well lived. Listening to the short sermons during the daily masses for Tito Doring and the stories and sharings gave me new insights to reflect on about life and death. I wrote about life being short the weekend before he died and this phrase hold more meaning to me now more than ever. The loss brought about by death reminds me not to waste time on the ifs and buts...that opportunity once lost seldom comes back. A close cousin said during the memorial service that most of us spend our lives chasing...

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words! Maya Angelou said this: "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." "I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights." "I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life." "I've learned that making a "livi...

"Life is short"...this is a statement that I never really gave serious thought before until last weekend when I watched this TV drama and one of the male characters kept on saying this to convince the leading lady that she should not hesitate to take risks especially when it comes to love because life is short... unfortunately, she did not agree with him but instead kept saying, "no, life is long" and so that made the drama more complicated. What struck me was the fact that it never occurred to me before that people should take more chances and not be afraid of failure because life is short. I have always believed that because life is short, we should be responsible and rational and make less mistakes. I never thought of it the other way around...I guess, ignorance is bliss because up until now, I have looked at my life with little regret, precisely because I am a sensible person. I am not a purposeful person or someone who always thinks before she acts but, I am...

How does one define caring? It probably means different things to many people but I guess basically, it's concern, sensitivity and compassion. To me however, caring is not just about feelings but it's also about doing something about that feeling. You see, my nature is such that I have this habit of always trying to find a solution to problems or situations, in other words, I am never a passive onlooker...and the worst thing is that sometimes the problem or the situation has nothing to do with me at all. I would tell my friends that I am the last person they should call when they just want to talk about their troubles because I am not one who would just sit and listen especially when I see a solution, so if they don't want to hear my 2-cents worth of advice, then please don't bring me your problems unless you need and want help. Of course, some people just want to voice out their sentiments and they don't actually want help...unfortunately, I don't have the pa...

Now-a-days I need to remind myself that inspite of all the troubles in the hospital and controversies thrown at me, life is still good and I can still laugh. All I have to do do is to think about the things that make me happy...and the favorite moments of my life: 1. sleeping with clean sheets and soft, fluffy pillows 2. staying in bed on a rainy day 3. watching the stars under a full moon 4. hugging and being hugged 5. drinking my favorite coffee while reading a good book 6. dancing to my favorite music while getting ready for work 7. being on a quiet beach with pristine white sands listening to the sound of the waves 8. sharing stories at the dinner table with family and giggling over silly things 9. singing my son to sleep every night up to age 11 10. slow dancing and holding hands 11. driving along in a smooth and calm road with a view of the sea 12. watching the sun set in a blaze of red and orange 13. sharing a good laugh with family,friends 14. Hearing from som...

Why do things happen? How did we become who and what we are today? Is it fate? luck? coincidences? We have a hundred reasons for why our life turns out the way it does and usually, it's never because of us. I guess it's easier to blame the world, the circumstances and say, I didn't have any choice...It's the will of God! But the fact is, our life is the way it is because of the choices that we have made. I do not deny the fact that there are things beyond our control and these can affect the choices we make. But the truth is, we do have choices ... I like the way Jason Kotecki said it in his blog " but here’s the really REALLY important thing: the choices may not be easy, ideal, comfortable, safe, quick, cheap, simple, popular or fun. Pretending you don’t have them is not realistic. It’s just wrong. "

When it comes to my personal life, procrastinating is one of my bad habits...but today I have decided that every month I will fulfill 5 things on my 2007 to-do list. Okay, I know that half of the year is over but there's still enough time. You see, I still have to make that list...haha. Seriously though, to prove my resolve I decided to write it down here for all to see because making my list public will "force" me to finish what I started, right?...so here goes! 1. learn at least 5 new words in French and Korean 2. speak at least 10 sentences in Spanish 3. finish a book 4. exercise 15 minutes a day 5. drink more water

I was in Manila for 3 days where I attended a convention/reunion with my fellow graduates of HLMP. It was good to see them and a needed break for me to get away from the pressures of work. One of the activities lined up was to watch 2 plays in the CCP, Palanca in my Mind and Hubad , both of which I thoroughly enjoyed. In retrospect, these are the things I miss most living in the province...the diverse cultural events, the bars and the bands, bookstores (although now, we do have NBS in the province), Mark and Spencers...what I do not miss is the traffic, smog, pollution, the floods, the noise and all the other unneccesary trappings of an urban lifestyle. Of course, what I need most when I do go Manila...is plenty of money...but that's another story :)

Last Friday, 2 people close to me passed away. One has been sick since the beginning of the year while the other was a family friend and co-volunteer in the Diocesan Lay Formation Center. Both deaths although not surprising were still unexpected...at least not as soon as this. I was in church attending a wedding as a primary sponsor when I got the text message from my Mom regarding Tito Nacing...my feeling upon getting the news was what a good way to die...no fuss, no long agonies...it's typical of him. He has had a few close calls before, so I guess this time was the right time. The other death was not a shock but the news gave me a lump in the throat. I got home from the wedding reception really tired and did not bother to check the messages on my cellphone. I was told that our administrative officer called earlier in the afternoon but left no message. I sat down to watch TV and after a few minutes decided to take a bath...I cleaned up my bag and saw the message..."Patay...

I was in a bookstore today and I saw this book about finding Joy in life and it dawned on me that the passion that I have been wishing for will forever elude me without joy in my life. But how? Joy is such a simple word so why is it not easy to find? My days are often filled with laughter but thinking about this as I type, humor is not quite the same as having joy, is it? I mean, there are so many things everyday that can annoy me but I also see the funny side of it all so that my stress level never quite gets off the ground. Yet, I realize that inspite of having humor and laughter in my life, there seems to be a lack of real joy. The kind of joy that makes one look forward to the day at hand..the kind that makes you want to wake up in the morning...the kind that makes your eyes sparkle and brings a smile to your face...the kind that makes one sing and feel energized. I want to be joyful like that, but where do I start? What is the biggest barrier to my experiencing joy despite any c...

as I was thinking on what to title this post, I remembered the TV series, Arrested Development and I sort of thought that it was apt for this entry since I am talking about having a childlike mind in an adult body. Of course, my mental health status is not anywhere near the characters in this series but I do have my "moments" ;) For instance, My 16 year old son says that I am totally so different from his friends' moms, although when the occasion calls for it, I do get into my mommy mode. Most of the time though, he thinks I'm cool! I never thought about it before but I think the reason why aside from being his mom, I'm also his friend is because I remember how it was to be young...

I finally found what my problem is...the child in me is begging to come out but the adult me is trying hard to be sensible, rational and mature...and it's making me listless. I found this website in a round-about-way...through another website called 43 Things and as I was browsing through all the lists, I saw this : Do Kim and Jason's Cure Adultitis 40-day challenge Plan. So off I went to look at their website: kimandjason.com (see my links) and lo and behold...kindred spirits! I took their test and I am actually adultitis-free...so it must be because I'm trying so hard to be an adult that my energy level is getting zapped by all these trying. Am I making sense here? but, I don't have to make a lot of sense, do I...after all I am more childlike that adult :)

I need to find time...and to use it to re-energize...to find my passion for living which somehow I seem to have misplaced somewhere. There always seems to be something going on in my life everyday but it all seems meaningless. I'm not unhappy...on the contrary, my days basically have a lot of laughter. But being busy doing the things I should do is not the same as doing the things I want to do. So what is it? What exactly is missing? Inspiration? Passion? Purpose? I guess basically I want to wake up every morning feeling excited about getting out of bed and doing something to make a difference in people's lives including mine. I want to discover what makes my heart sing...

Now-a-days nothing excites me except perhaps mall sales and shopping...but then I would need a lot of money for that, wouldn't I? I think I need a boost... exactly what kind? ...I'm not sure but I know it should be something to perk me up. Like yesterday for example, there were a lot of activities this Sunday but I had no energy or much interest for it. I just slept the whole afternoon instead of going to the gym where Ramie was having a taekwondo tournament. Is this another burn-out...duh...

The past week has really been weird...I think these series of unfortunate happenings for the past few days is a message of sorts...it's like it's telling me to pay more attention to what is important and essential in life. Okay, so it got my attention...I'm listening. And you know what, if these negative forces think that by making these events happen they can make me lose faith...they're so wrong...nothing, and I mean NOTHING could make me lose my faith and fortitude. I admit that when things go well for me and all my days seem to fall into place, my relationship with God suffers and I am so guilty of neglect...I know that God misses me and is now once again knocking on the door of my heart. I say sorry all the time to Him and again and again He forgives me. I guess, I have no excuse really, except for the reality of my humanity, and my human weaknesses. I will stop making promises that I could never keep anyway, and this time I can only promise to try hard to be fa...

The MSN article "The Sexiest Women Over 35" says that true sexiness is molded from the heat of experience and that a woman with no redeeming social value might be "hot" (*cough* Paris Hilton), but she'll never be truly sexy. When I read this article, a light bulb went on in my head...a eureka moment. Now I sort of understand why some people would say that I am "beautiful", "sexy"...words that puzzle me because I don't remember being told these when I was younger...the nearest thing perhaps was "pretty" but beautiful...nah, never...and sexy? bwahahahaha! Seriously though, if I really think about it, I do look better, feel better now than when I was in my 20's and 30's. The article describes Diane Lane, one of my favorite actresses (Must Love Dogs)as classy, stunning and seems to be improving with age, a key indicator of true sexiness. So gaining status, wisdom, emotional security all adds up to sexiness? Hmmm yes, I l...

I am not superstitious but when a day like yesterday happens, when one bad thing happens one after the other...then, I start thinking that negative forces in my immediate universe is working in an optimal pace. My tuesday started uneventful enough...I woke up late, as usual. The Ms. Universe 2007 was being shown live on cable TV and so I did not bring my Mom to her CWL seminar. A few minutes later, we got a call from her saying that she must have left her folder full of seminar materials in the tricycle (a motorcycle with a covered sidecar that serves as the main transport in most provincial towns and small cities) that she rode going there but she was not able to get it's number. So the househelp had to go chasing after similar looking tricycles which more or less comprises 80% of all tricycles plying the city route. The Ms. U would not have interested me anymore since the Philippines did not make the cut...but Korea did and being a true fan of Korean cinema and dramas...I dec...

I really don't like Mondays...why?  Because it is the day that comes after my usually busy weekends. For most people, weekends are meant to be rest days but for me, these are the days where I try to squeeze in all activities unrelated to my regular work...and since these are only 2 days, it's no wonder that I'm busy and tired when Monday comes.  In other words, I don't get a free weekend. So I got in late for work today and my day did not start well at all.  But, since I never let anything bother me for long...and I have this great ability to filter out the noises around me so that by the end of the day when everyone has gone home except me, I find that my day has ended in a positive way.  Frankly my work week really starts on a Tuesday...Mondays are blah days and I'm part zombie, part robocop...so be afraid...be very afraid ;)

It's a good thing that I did not promise to keep this blog updated, otherwise I'd be paying for broken promises now. But today is a new beginning because I have decided to seriously make time to do this not only for today, but each new day :) After the elections last May 14, I think the days just went by...not slowly but it is more like "days that were over before you know it but you don't really remember doing anything significant or worth remembering" kind of days. This troubled me somewhat because it seemed to me that something as important as the election was no longer important to most people...including myself. But on after thought, something did happen during Election Day itself and the fact that people were empowered enough to complain is a good thing. I volunteered as part of the transportation team of the PPCRV (Parish Pastoral Council for Responsible Voting) of San Diego Parish and at around 8:30 AM of Election Day, I was tasked to drive some peopl...